


loving you was a losing game

by oihinalovebot



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Kageyama Tobio-centric, Kageyama centric, M/M, and yachi!!, and yamaguchi, bc i havent read the manga yet, brief mention of tsukki, brief oihina mention, did i mention angst bc i hurt myself writing this, how do i tag properly uhhh, kagehina angst, many angst, much angst, not necessarily canon compliant, oikawa's an idiot, post brazil, post timeskip!!!!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-16
Updated: 2020-12-16
Packaged: 2021-03-11 01:14:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,481
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28116762
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oihinalovebot/pseuds/oihinalovebot
Summary: hinata was the sun, and kageyama was bound to get burned.
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou & Kageyama Tobio, Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio, Hinata Shouyou/Oikawa Tooru
Comments: 4
Kudos: 52





	loving you was a losing game

**Author's Note:**

> okay so!!! my name is jack and i have just recently gathered up enough courage to start sharing my writing, because it's taken me a very long time to accept that it's, y'know, actually good. shoutout to my friend nico for encouraging me to put myself out there and share my work. i love you!!!
> 
> i's also like to say that i am ultimate oihina trash, so i honestly couldn't resist hurting kags like this ejfnrjkgb but yeah, i haven't read the manga so not everything is going to line up properly. i know what happens, just not every single detail lmao
> 
> i triple checked this but there's probably still going to be typos. my adhd brain no work

**hinata was the sun, and kageyama was bound to get burned.** he was and always would be the friend that continuously brightened the world around him, and he subsequently brightened the lives of those he cared for.

tobio always wanted to do things on his own, in his own way, and in his own time. volleyball had been a sport where he was the control tower; he was the only player that mattered. going to karasuno probably would have changed his point of view regardless, in all honesty. hinata may have been an integral part of his own growth, but the rest of the team helped shape him, too. ( tsukishima included, but kageyama would never say that to his face. )

so when their third year had come to an end, tobio had been deeply offended that hinata wasn't following him into the big leagues. how could someone with his talent ever turn down the chance to chase after greatness?

traveling across the world didn't make any sense to him, but he'd learned to keep his mouth shut when it came to other people's happiness. if hinata was happy, then he would be happy too. the shift in their relationship would just have to withstand the distance.

kageyama never quite considered the two of them to be dating, but they had certainly become something over the course of their three years in high school. he couldn't count on one hand the amount of times the two of them kissed, much less the many sleepovers they had where hinata would cling to tobio like a tiny little koala.

maybe hinata deciding against playing professionally wasn't the issue; maybe his leaving kageyama in the dust was the real problem behind the pain in his chest.

they weren't dating. hinata's excitement to leave made that clear. but they were something, weren't they?

* * *

when hinata returned from brazil, he had an extremely appetizing tan. tobio felt like an idiot for even describing it that way, but hinata truly did look beautiful. he was practically glowing, and his smile lit up the room far brighter than it ever had before.

"kageyamaaaaa!!" hinata's voice rang out from across the airport, pulling his bright green suitcase as he ran toward his friends. tsukishima, yamaguchi, and yachi were here too, each taking time off of their busy schedules to greet hinata. the first year squad was back together for the first time in two years, and warmth blossomed in his heart at the thought.

"boke hinata boke!" he said, squinting at hinata's quickly approaching form. "i'm not the only one here."

"i know, but you missed me the most." hinata replied immediately, his smile hauntingly familiar. panic shot up kageyama's spine as hinata went to hug their other friends, holding yachi the longest.

why was that smile so familiar? the look in his eyes also sparked recognition within him, and yet he couldn't place it.

"you guys are not going to believe who i ran into!" hinata's voice pulled kageyama from his thoughts, and he forgot about the odd smile entirely.

* * *

the five of them decided to go out for lunch, hinata babbling about different parts of his time in brazil while they were eating . 

he spoke about bonding with his roommate over _one piece_ , and how beach volleyball really taught him more about the sport itself.

"i was feeling really lonely during that first year, and i almost gave up and headed home." he said, though his voice held no sadness. 

"why did you stay?" tsukishima asked, surprising kageyama. 

"i didn't think you had a heart." he sneered playfully, ignoring hinata's pout at the interruption of his story.

"hey! do you guys wanna hear more or not?" hinata asked, looking pointedly at tobio with a new fire in his amber eyes.

"i really want to know how this ends, so if you two could stop starting arguments, that'd be great." yachi said, her tone snippy. they all knew she didn't mean it in a harmful way, and kageyama couldn't fight a small smile at the growth she'd experienced in the last five years.

"anyway!" hinata said loudly after a bite of his ramen. "i had lost my wallet, and i was heading back home from the beach when i ran into oikawa-san!"

tobio choked on his drink, though no one paid him any mind; it was expected for him to react this way. as hinata continued to talk about his time with oikawa, or tooru, as he referred to him in the story, kageyama was only focused on the joy in hinata's eyes. 

he had only ever seen that brightness and excitement when hinata spoke about volleyball, never about another person. ( and certainly not when hinata was looking at _him_. )

hinata's odd, teasing smile from earlier came to mind, and tobio suddenly felt sick to his stomach.

* * *

it had only been a month since hinata had moved back to tokyo, and kageyama really hadn't had the chance to visit him often. between volleyball practice and hinata's own busy schedule, finding time to spend together was hard.

somehow, tobio had the day off. he'd spent most of the night gathering his thoughts, thinking about what he wanted to say to hinata now that they both had the time to talk.

did he want to talk about their relationship in high school? did he want to continue that now? did hinata even still have feelings for him?

hopefully they'd clear the air today. he remained cautiously optimistic that they'd go back to how things were, despite the quiet voice in his head telling him to lower his expectations. two years was a long time. and they both had certainly changed since graduating.

still, kageyama found himself outside hinata's apartment. he knocked on the door rather aggressively, though he waited patiently for hinata to open the door. 

when it did open, however, the face of oikawa tooru greeted him. his blue eyes widened in surprise, and his knees nearly buckled at the sight of his rival. 

"oikawa." he said, voice alarmingly steely as he spoke. "i had no idea you were in town."

"oh, you know." oikawa started nonchalantly, leaning against the doorframe with a grin. "one can only stay away from sho-chan for so long."

 _sho-chan._ the nickname caused bile to rise in his throat. 

"who is it, tooru?" hinata's voice was light and full of happiness, slightly out of breath as if he'd been laughing. 

"wouldn't you like to know, shoyo?"

 _"tooru!"_ hinata whined, his footsteps getting louder as he approached the door. the ginger appeared under oikawa's raised arm, and kageyama had to bite down on his tongue to keep the bile at bay.

"oh, it's kageyama!" 

"excellent observation. this is, in fact, tobio-kun."

hinata laughed and elbowed oikawa for his sarcastic remark, smiling up at the brunette with a smile so blinding, kageyama had to step back a little bit. 

"what brings you around?" hinata asked, his attention now focused on tobio once more. 

"uh, nothing urgent. i can see you're busy."

"nonsense, i—" hinata started to say, but oikawa interrupted him with another sly grin in kageyama's direction. 

"actually, we are busy."

"no we aren't. stop lying, tooru."

"oh, was i not about to take you into your bedroom for some absolutely mind-blowing sex?"

"tooru!" hinata squealed, slapping oikawa's chest as his face lit up in a blush.

kageyama's phone went off, and he'd never been more grateful for those spam emails he was always getting. he quickly pulled his phone out of his pocket and feigned an apologetic look toward hinata and oikawa.

"that was my mom." he lied, his gaze avoiding hinata's worried eyes at all costs. "i've gotta go. i'll text you later." tobio turned and walked away before hinata could even say goodbye, tears burning behind his vision as he carefully walked down the steps.

he only got down to the third floor when he had to sit down and take a break, his chest heaving. he was stupid to think that hinata still loved him. he was stupid to think that there was nothing between hinata and oikawa. 

based on hinata's stories alone, it was obvious that the ginger cared for the older setter. it was obvious in the way that he looked at oikawa, eyes bright and full of love. it was obvious in how he laughed at oikawa's smartass remarks. it was so fucking obvious that hinata shoyo was in love with kageyama's greatest rival. 

as he finally let himself cry, he couldn't help but to think that maybe he'd continue to lose to oikawa for the rest of his life.

volleyball suddenly didn't matter anymore. oikawa had taken the one thing tobio cared about more than anything, and he would just have to live with his broken heart.

but if hinata was happy, then kageyama would be happy, too.


End file.
